5 Lesbians Eating a Quiche

Kate Young
22nd Feb 2022

Fellow Widow’s! Ladysisters! Welcome, welcome to the The Susan B. Anthony Society for the Sisters of Gertrude Stein’s annual quiche breakfast, where the motto is “no men, no meat, all manners”.

5 Lesbians Eating a Quiche invites its audience to step back in time to the 1956 Annual Quiche Breakfast. Hidden away in a bunker the sisterhood has gathered to pay homage to its founding member Lady Ulrika Monmont and her colony of chickens. It would be these very chickens that would produce the very backbone of the sisterhood the divine egg, with quiche being its most heavenly of forms. The Hall is buzzing with anticipation as the ladies await the first taste of this years winning quiche. Though things take a slight turn as a nuclear bomb threatens the proceedings. Sirens are set off, doors are sealed shut and the truths that are about to be unleashed, well lets just say that the bomb isn’t the only thing that’s about to explode.

This play had me in stiches, with its play on symbolism, stereotypes, sexual innuendo’s and pure absurdity. From the very moment I stepped through the door I was immersed into the silliness of it all. You automatically become part of the community breaking that fourth wall. As I approached the signup sheet to take a few Instagram photo ops, I was introduced to their newest committee member Ginny (played by the hilarious Dominique De Marco), she was so excited as it was her first year entering the competition. After our brief introductions and wishing her luck I took my seat and waited for the meeting to start.

What follows is a 75 minutes coming out story for the masses, even if you're not one (men this includes you too) by the end of the show you will be standing up and proudly proclaiming that you too are a Lesbian.

A big round of applause goes out to the five actresses that make up the show, it’s a great skill to be able to play such absurd characters and still be able to keep a finger in the pie of reality. This is driven home with just how much conviction they possess when it comes to being dedicated to the Quiche. For baking is a serious business.Truly if it wasn’t a secret lesbian society (that’s not giving it away it's in the title) you would swear it was a cult, but then again lezbihonest haven't we always been accused of trying to convert new members.

Laura Djanegara is lovely as Wren the quintessential 1950s housewife. She's the perfect welcoming hostess. In her sundress, she radiates warmth and charm with dash of elegance to boot.

Nysa Hamilton as Lulie is the Chairwoman of the group, she displays a Rosie the Riveter girl power attitude, she’s in charge and will lead the ladies through to the very end, but even great leaders can have their faults and her secret will send the best of quiches curdling.

Julia Pennisi's Vern is is the mother Hen of the group, responsible for Buildings and maintenance of the hall. Vern is Quite the handy/handsy woman, not only is she able to fix things (Toasters seem to be her specialty) but also seems to like fitting the towns widows for pant suits, with lots of concentration on those inside seams if you get my drift.

The three stand out roles for me were of course Ginny who I mentioned earlier. Ginny, is the sweet bumbling English rose whose eagerness to please and naivety usually finds her at the brunt of many of the other ladies jokes. However don't underestimate this little lady, she quickly wins over the audience's approval (and the biggest laughs of the night) when she demonstrates how to properly devour a winning quiche with unbridled animal ferocity. It's not very lady like but I don't think any lady would complain.

Damita Sealy is Dale the historian and youngest member of the group, always armed with her camera ready to capture every moment and don't worry these woman will find any excuse to strike a pose. Dale gets her stand-out moment as she unleashes into an extended, multi-character monologue detailing how it came to be that she hasn’t spoken to a her father or any man for that matter, since she was three. The tale is both sad and side splitting and will add another element to the friend group.

Now I do have to make mention the hilarious 6th member of the group Marjory. Now poor Marjory we never get to actually meet, but she sits amongst the audience/ Committee members and is the constant disdain of the main five members. Poor Marjory's fall from grace started many years ago and this year she hasn’t helped her stance with the other woman for she didn’t even submit a quiche too ashamed to let the light of day see her quiche , none the less we have rations for the next four years for 73 members and at the moment we have 74, I guess we know who the tribute of the group is ….MARJORY!

5 Lesbians Eating a Quiche is a play that doesn’t take itself too seriously, it's full of hysterical double entendres and euphemisms are plentiful. It’s lovely being able to see for once a lesbian play that isn’t all doom and gloom (even though it is a tale of just that) it’s a way to laugh out ourselves and reclaim those stereotypes. Fingers crossed this gets another run next year, I will be front row centre with my own quiche recipe. One warning though, this play does for quiche, what American Pie did for apple pie... Meaning you will never look at the simple food item the same way ever again. You may also treasure it that little bit more... now hand me a bib... I’m hungry!